Some Things About San Francisco

We’ve been spending the summer in San Francisco (or as rich people would say, “summering”). Here’s a few assorted observations:

1. There are almost no children here.

2. There are tons of dogs and no one cleans up after them. But the dogs never bark.

3. The only old people here are either homeless or in Chinatown.

4. It is a very quiet city for its size.

5. There is unimaginable filth on many sidewalks and no one seems to care. I can’t imagine if the weather here were really hot, what would happen to all that foul filth.

6. No one honks their horn or drives aggressively.

7. No one jay walks. Ever. Even when there’s no traffic at all.

8. The people are pretty socially awkward.

9. There are no bugs.

10. Few lawns, but where there is grass it is never mowed.

11. It never rains.

12. People wear winter jackets even when it’s sunny and warm.

13. The police here are by far the most relaxed and humane I have ever seen in any city. Their presence is minimal. No traffic cops. Rarely see police. When you do they are generally being somewhat commonsensical dealing with a crazy person.

14. There is lots of parking. We never really have trouble finding a spot even on the weekends.

15. Every single corner market no matter how crappy makes good deli sandwiches.

16. Neighborhoods less than a mile apart can differ several degrees in temperature due to elevation and fog.

17. There is no Wal-Mart and really no nice big clean grocery stores of any kind. Shopping here with a family is a pain.

18. It’s awesome to be able to walk everywhere (once you acclimate to the hills).

19. Walking a mile or two is often better than taking an Uber because every street is a stop and the drivers herk and jerk and make you carsick.

20. Uber and Lyft drivers don’t know how to get anywhere despite the city being incredibly logical and easy to navigate.

21. People here think the rest of the country hates or envies them. In reality most of the country doesn’t know anything about the Bay Area or have any opinion on it.

22. A surprising number of people here grew up here and never left.

23. People here all pretend to think recycling is really important to them even though a) the slightest common sense and research reveals it’s a net resource loss and b) no one actually does it. There are multiple bins labeled by type of garbage but they all always have everything in them. Everyone secretly knows no one is sorting this stuff and it doesn’t matter anyway but everyone pretends it’s a really big self righteous deal.