I feel like I’m losing most of the time.
In fact, it’s usually only in retrospect, when considering a condensed clump of the past when it looks like I’ve made progress in my various battles. In the moment, it feels like losing 90% of the time.
When I started Praxis, every conversation and effort to build a college alternative felt like a losing battle. The relentless onslaught of defensive status quo bias never ended. We just never seemed to win. But when I look back over what we built in six years and what Praxis is today and the hundreds of success stories, it’s clear we were winning at least some of the time.
Crash is not too different. Opening people up to the world of opportunity in front of them, helping them see their career and job hunt in a whole new way and approach it like an entrepreneurial puzzle rather than a rule-following routine feels like losing most of the time. Most people shrug or say it’s not possible or ignore it. It’s pretty tiring.
There are some little wins here and there. I’ve learned to not hold back joy and celebration for each of those, because they are rare and it’s important to get a mental boost now and then!
The timescale on which big battles are won is so different from the mental timescale of feeling the need to get a win. Those daily feelings of struggle compound and take a toll, even though they are making long term progress, the lack of a short term feeling of winning is hard. It’s when I’ve got to manufacture meaning. Turn on some epic music, weave my narrative in a way that makes the body blows feel worth it.
I’m sure there is such a thing as a series of wins stacking up with unstoppable momentum. I think that happens and when it does you’d better be ready to seize it. But the way to be ready is to not give up when the long wins feel like short losses.