The Conviction from Kids

Kids have bad poker faces. They try, somewhat ridiculously, to hide what they’re feeling, but it’s obvious to a parent.

This can result in one of the hardest forms of censure a parent can experience. If your kid is mad at you and tells you they think you’re doing something wrong (when you actually are) it stings. But far worse is when your kid doesn’t tell you, but you can read it on their face.

I’ve had moments where I glance at one of my kids and realize by the look on their face that I’m being too grumpy, impatient, or indifferent. When they’re little, kids think you’re a hero. The look on their face when their hero disappoints them cuts to the bone.

There’s nothing to do but take it, apologize, and work on getting better. There is always an urge to try to talk them in to not being disappointed, or do something really nice for them hoping it cancels out that moment when they saw your flaws. It won’t do. You’ve got to take the pain and resolve to get better.

You don’t know until you have kids just how convicting in can be to be around little humans who look up to you every day.