Mystery and Madness

“It is the glory of God to conceal a thing, but the honor of kings is to search out a matter.” — Proverbs 25:2

The drive for knowledge is electric. Finding secret truths, piecing together mysteries, understanding the hidden aspects of the world; these are some of the greatest motivators of man. This is a good thing, and how we were created.

But why does pursuit of mysteries so often lead to madness?

The deeper you delve, the harder it seems to be to come back up with anything useful. Or, as I often say of psychedelics, you may become more enlightened yourself but you become less valuable and reliable to others.

Read deep penetrators of mystery like Carl Jung, or some of the great mathematicians and it’s hard not to conclude that they started out ravenously curious and ended up raving mad. Same goes for many brilliant artists who are trying to understand and portray hidden aspects of reality in their work. Ever read James Joyce, or listened to Kayne West talk?

What’s the lesson?

I’m not entirely sure, but I suppose it has something to do with constraints, hierarchy, and perspective.

One thing I’ve noticed as an entrepreneur is that having a wife and kids acts simultaneously as a constraint and a saving grace. It puts limits on how much time and mental energy I can spend on my big ideas. It constrains how crazy I can get and how much risk I can take.

Sometimes, especially in a very early stage startup, this can put me at a disadvantage against single founders. But over time, it keeps me sane as some of them go mad.

I think it’s similar when it comes to pursuing truth.

It’s not just the constraints time and attention, but the rank-ordering of importance. Knowing family is more important than my vision is key to not losing my grip. Knowing God is above family all the more.

It pulls you away when you’re about to get sucked too deep. You remember that, some corners left unexplored or mysteries not pondered is a price worth paying to have a right relationship with your family, and with God.

You just can’t achieve everything or know everything. An eternal perspective helps keep madness at bay as well. No, you won’t get the answers in this life. But why the rush anyway?

This is why I resonate more deeply with pursuit of freedom than pursuit of truth. Of course I love and pursue truth, but sometimes that pursuit can make one a slave to paranoia.

I’ve written elsewhere that insanity and genius come from a common root – seeing connections. When you start to see them, you can’t unsee them. Then you see them everywhere, within and around everything, even when they’re not there. Seeing too many connections is at least as dangerous as naively seeing none.

Seek the mysteries. But realize it will never have a natural stopping point. It’s up to you to impose one on yourself.

“And furthermore, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.” — Ecclesiastes 12:12