On Disappointment

What does it mean to be disappointed?

You first have to be appointed. Something set before you. Something in your veins. A calling. A will. A fate.

To the extent to which you want and don’t shirk this thing, it’s also a desire. A dream. A goal. Perhaps a fantasy.

To realize you will never attain or achieve or become it is to be disappointed.

The appointment is over. The calling failed. The dream left empty, denied. The desire a vacuum.

The disappointment is in the finality.

The embers of hope burn painfully.

They were misplaced. The appointment was of what could be, but not what will or must be. Not what is.

Whether you failed it or it was always an ideal rather than a reality, you may not ever know.

But you have to let it die.