I’m a bad waiter.

No, not food service. Just waiting. On anything.

I’m probably in the borderline world-class range when it comes to taking action and getting things done when the ball is in my court. But I am easily bottom quintile when it comes to how I handle the ball not being in my court. I’m a fish out of water, grumpy, impatient, and impetuous.

This can mean big stuff, like waiting on big legal or financial things over long periods, or tiny stuff, like waiting 5 minutes for someone to call me at a scheduled time. I get a little crazy.

Most of the time, I end up doing something to try to push the action. Most of the time, it doesn’t do any good and sometimes it does harm. I have a hard time letting it sit.

I am getting better though! Or at least less bad. I’m learning to let the balls out of my court alone and go work on something else entirely to take my mind off of it. I’ve got to treat them as if they will never return and they are dead to me in order to really do this, which makes it kinda fun if/when they do, because it feels like a big bonus win.

So waiting, just like being silent, is something I’m working on getting better at. I don’t focus much on my weaknesses because it’s more fun and useful to double down on strengths, but I’m discovering waiting and silence to be strengths when applied tactically, so I’m building them up that way bit by bit.