I’ve found that I can give people really direct, even harsh feedback without hurting their feelings if I do it quickly.
I sometimes do writing or speaking workshops. When there are a lot of people to get through you have to move fast, and you have to give very clear feedback. When something is bad, you’ve got to say. But in this setting, everyone seems to take it well, and even appreciate the bluntness.
The trick is speed.
Slowly elaborating negative feedback is excruciating. It draws out and gives your brain time to think of objections and be offended. Worse, it adds insult to injury by including lengthy explanation as if you’re too dumb to just get the basic idea stripped down without filler and caveat.
If you’ve got to tell someone something non-complimentary, rip off the band-aid.